Think Positive / Take Action

Who among us hasn’t had a bad day?  You know those days when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed.  You hate your job, your apartment, your friends, and dread the day ahead because you just know it’s going to be just awful.  It happens occasionally, but when this becomes a cycle there is a problem.  When that bad feeling becomes normal we need to stop and examine things.

Maybe the problem is just attitude and we need to make an adjustment and count our blessings.  It’s great if that’s the case.  Then we just do a little soul searching and try harder to look on the bright side.  Sometimes taking a little time to focus on the needs of others can put things in perspective.

However, sometimes we find that our past choices or perhaps circumstances have put us in place that is just not good for us.  Maybe we’re in a relationship that isn’t healthy.  Sometimes our workplaces can do us more harm than good.  Maybe we’re surrounded by negative people or even dangerous people.  If this is the situation there is always a way out.  Any type of change can be frightening but moving toward a more positive and healthy life is worth facing our fears. 

If you find yourself in this kind of situation and someone that cares about you offers you a way out, check your pride at the door and take it.  Sometimes we can get so lost that we forget that there are people who love us and are praying for us to take a step in the right direction.  Most of us will find that if we step outside ourselves and ask for help that it is there waiting for us.

            Lastly, never underestimate the importance of being there for yourself.  If you truly want love others and to be loved by others you must first love yourself.  If you put bad things into your body you are going to start feeling physically un-well.  When your body feels bad your attitude and your emotions will follow.  Most of us know the basics.  We eat hot dogs and cheese puffs when we know we should be eating real whole foods (grains, poultry /fish, vegetables, dairy).  We drink alcohol when we know we’re dehydrated and should be drinking more water.  I’m not a purist by any means but I know what a difference healthy living and spending a little time caring for yourself can make.

            So if you’re not taking care of yourself start.  If you’re thinking negatively do the hard thing and think positive.  If you know you’re making unhealthy choices start making healthy ones, and if you’re in a bad place reach out and find a way out.  I’m not saying any of this is easy or that you’ll get it right on the first try just that it’s worth trying and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so get on that train.

Maria J. Speake

(Photo found at http://liz-green.com/ )

Bunny Inspiration - By Maria J Speake

Well a little bunny has hopped into my back yard and into my life.  Strangely I recently had a pet pass away.  An old orange cat who I have had and I have loved for a long time.  The other day my husband told me that we have three orange cats hanging out in the back yard and that Billy, our dog, has been having some fun chasing and pretending like he’s going to do them some damage.  Needless to say my little Terrier Chihuahua mix dog wouldn’t hurt a fly.  Having heard about the cats and their antics I expected to see some cats in the yard when I let out my dog to do his business this morning.  Instead what I saw what a black and white rabbit that let me take his picture and pick him up.  (Not the best picture. See above).

I was immediately charmed so I went into the house and found him some trail mix.  Apparently trail mix is not a special treat for this rabbit.  He turned up his nose at most of it.  He did eat one dried date but that was about it.

When I got home later in the day I checked and he was still there.  I got him some salad which he thoroughly enjoyed (especially the shaved carrots) and a bowl of water.  For the rest of the day I visited him in shifts giving him some time to himself but each time I visited I brought another treat.  He found a little spot that seems to feel secure and that he is shaded in behind our shed.  The last time I visited him he was less skittish than he had been throughout the day.

I hope that he will stay and that I can figure out how to really make friends with him and to take care of him.  It’s funny how something like this can get your mind spinning new ideas.  What if I get another rabbit and decided to raise them?  There are lots of good reasons to raise rabbits.  I have been Googleing and found lots of articles some on how to make friends with a bunny, some on raising rabbits, I even read one article where a woman raises “free-range” rabbits in her back yard.  That idea sounds the most appealing to me.  The truth is I don’t know enough about raising rabbits or selling them for that matter.  I think I will probably just enjoy the little one that that has hopped into my life for as long as he stays around.  I’m actually wondering if I should do something to keep him around.  I don’t like the idea of caging him but I can tell that he is blind in one eye and I think he may be a little deaf.  I feel the need to protect him and care for him.  I will just have to see if he will let me mother him a little bit and go from there.  If anyone has any bunny stories feel free to share them here.

If you could talk to anyone - Dead or Alive

suggested by A memoir of a beautiful life for a reflection seen though my eyes

"If you could speak to anyone alive or dead throughout history who would you chose and why?"

If I could speak to anyone alive or dead throughout history I think I might choose Shakespeare.  He was the voice of his time.  That’s something I don’t even dare to aspire to but I admire it very much.  I would choose him because I would love to hear what he had to say on so many subjects.  I would ask him about what inspired the stories he told.  I would ask him if there was anything to that outrageous story in ANONOMOUS.  I would ask him what he thinks about books like THE HUNGER GAMES.  I would ask him what he thinks about movies in place of his beloved theatre.  I would ask him if he were alive today what and who he would write about.  I would ask him if he was happy in his life and what made him the most happy.  I would ask him what he regretted in life.  I would ask him if he had any advice for me.  Oh yes.  I would ask him if I could write about what he said and if he had anything new that he wanted to share with the world.  Who would you choose?

Image found at ( http://www.teachingwill.com/2010_11_01_archive.html )

When you were young, what did you want most?

When I was younger, in fact when I was very young, there was one thing that I wanted more than anything.  I wanted to be with someone who wanted me as much as I wanted them.  I remember going through years where I thought that the likelihood of that ever happening was slim at best.  As I got older I did have a few boyfriends but I never got to the point where I felt like I had what I was looking for.  I never got the feeling of security that I wanted.  I was either looking for more or I just didn’t trust anyone enough to be the real me.  When I met Mark though, everything changed.  Within a week of knowing him he made me feel safer than I had ever felt in my life.  He showed me with his actions and his words how much I meant to him and enabled me to fall in love with him fully.  Now after 10 years of marriage I realize that what I have is what I spent most of my life looking for.  I have a best friend who can be honest with me.  When he’s proud of me he makes sure that I know it.  When I’m being stupid or being a jerk he makes sure that I know it as well.  It may take me a while to admit it, but deep down I always know that his intentions are good and he simply wants me to be the best that I can.  He expects the best of me and I expect the best from him.  Neither of us is perfect but because we’re together our lives are good, even when circumstances aren’t the best.  I guess that’s what true love really is, knowing that no matter how bad it gets everything is going to be ok because you have someone and they have you.

(Picture found at: http://www.isobmba.com/images/hand-holding.jpg)

suggested by Chibi Doucet

"When you were younger, what was the one thing you wanted most in the world? Have you been able to achieve or get it?"

Who do you know that has it “all together”?

Let me think about that for a moment.  There’s probably no one I know that has it “all together”.  I had this discussion with a group of writers once.  I think I said well, nobody’s perfect.  Then one of them said that she made that statement once at a seminar and was proved wrong.  She said that she had a daughter and mother attending and the daughter raised her hand to say that was not correct.  She said that her mother was in fact perfect.  The writer told me that she of course was incredulous but she asked a few questions and it definitely seemed at least on the surface that the daughter was correct, her mother was perfect.  The thought coming to me at the moment is that this writer’s definition of perfect, and perhaps the daughter’s definition were most likely completely different than mine.  Who is to say what is perfect?  Who is to say what it is to have it all together?  If I had it all together that would mean that myself and my family would be healthy.  Maybe it would mean a clean house and security.  Mostly it would mean lots of love and laughter.  I know people who seem to have it together like this but they would likely tell you, if they were honest, that there are things in their lives that are not all together.  I think that’s ok though.  If everything is just as it should be then what do we have to work toward?  I think it’s ok to not have it all figured out.  People who know everything are a bit irritating to me, I’m sure I’m not the only one.  Failing and learning from our mistakes is part of the challenge and the fun of being alive.  I can definitely tell you I don’t have it all figured out.  I have some things figured out and for now that’s enough.

(Prompt found at: http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/2012/05/todays-writing-prompt-together.html)

(Image found at: http://www.celsias.com/article/are-apartments-key-cutting-emissions/ )

Let Us Sing of Love

            Ann Patchett’s novel Bel Canto is all about the music of love.  Music is the thread that ties all of the characters together, and that helps us to discover what each of them loves.  Bel Canto teaches us that love is the primary thing.  The one thing that withstands all of life’s horrible reality is love.  Love can be a dangerous thing, and it guarantees no happy endings, but it is still worth the risk.

            In Bel Canto Music serves as a sort of lubrication for thought and emotion.  As we listen to beautiful music, the things that are most important to us become clear.  Once Roxane begins to sing again the people’s minds turn to their passions.  Ruben discovers a special love for his house and the work of caring for the household.  He discovers that he enjoys the labor and that he has “a certain knack for it” (Patchett 178).   Roxane begins to develop deep relationships with people who don’t speak the same language.  She and Carmen spend their mornings together drinking tea and braiding each others’ hair (162).  According to Patchett, “In this way, only for the little time they had together in the mornings, they were sisters, girlfriends, the same.  They were happy together when it was just the two of them alone” (162).  Love begins to grow between Mr. Hosokawa and Roxanne.  Mr. Hosokawa’s thoughts show us how their relationship developed:

She sat beside him on the sofa reading.  She asked him to sit beside her at the piano.  On occasion she took his hand, a gesture so startling and wonderful that he could barely inhale.  She asked him, do you like this piece?  She asked him, what would you like me to sing?  These were things he never could have imagined: the warmth of a person and the music together. (167)

Before the music everything was terrible and scary for the captives.  The music allows the people to discover that they are still alive, and to remember the things that they have to live for, if only for that moment.  It is as if the music pumps life into their hearts so that they are able to beat more passionately and love more fully.  The music, the things and people that they love become their only concerns, and the things that they fear become less terrifying. 

However, love in itself can be terrifying. There will almost always be risks involved if we are to love fully.  Certainly, the dangers of loving and of caring are more clear in a hostage situation.  There is always the risk of losing the one that you love, but for Gen, Roxanne, Mr. Hosokawa, and Carmen, the risk is much greater.  All of them, in their own way, face those risks and their own fears, because somehow they knew that no matter what happened, it would be worth it to love.  Roxane, faced with the reality of her own death, found the courage to love.  According to Patchett:

Because if Messner was right, if it was still going to be a very long time that they were held hostage, then she deserved to have this.  And if, at the end of that long time, they were killed anyway…then she deserved it all the more. (239)

Roxane was also aware that time was short, and that if they weren’t killed “that they would all go back to their regular lives… [and] she would not see Katsumi Hosokawa again” (239).  So in the time that she had, no matter how it would end, she decided to express her love as fully as she could.  Gen took on the risk of loving as well.  Though he hoped unrealistically for a “happily ever after” with Carmen (who is a terrorist), there was a part of him that must have known that it was not possible (302-306).  Still in his heart he made his plans:  “He would marry Carmen.  He would have Father Arguedas marry them and it would be legal and binding, so that when they came for them he could say she was his wife” (303).  Carmen took risks not only for the man who she loved but for her friends, who were also hostages.  The time that Carmen spent in the house was probably the best time of her life.  At one point she asks Gen, “would it be so awful if we all stayed here in this beautiful house?” (206). When she talks about staying there, what she means is never leaving, because she has more here than she has ever had before in her life.  However, she still risks an end to this beautiful time because of her love for Gen and her friends.  She sneaks Mr. Hosokawa up the stairs to see Roxane in the middle of the night, and when they are discovered, she risks her life for him and for his happiness (257).  According to the author, “These two things Mr. Hosokawa was sure of:  Beatriz pointed the rifle at him and Carmen came in front of the gun” (257).   In that moment Mr. Hosokawa must have understood Carmen’s love and loved her in return.  Though Mr. Hosokawa took a very big risk because of love, it seemed that he had the least to lose.  According to the author, “He had been asked to come to her room at two A.M. and there was nothing more in the world to want, ever” (254).  Mr. Hosokawa’s relationship with Roxane fulfilled him completely.  He finally had everything that there was for him to want out of life.  This must have made it easy for him to give up his life for Carmen.  Life had nothing more to offer him than it had already given, and so there was nothing for him to fear in death.  According to Patchett, “He was in front of her the instant she was being thrown behind him, the instant the man who saw her standing in front, separate from Mr. Hosokawa, fired his gun” (313).  In the end Carman and Mr. Hosokawa die.  The worst fears of Gen and Roxane are realized, but somehow their love still survives.  It is as if the love that was born in them had to be expressed somewhere, so Gen and Roxane held on to each other (315).

            Love is the thing that matters most.  In the novel the music helps each person discover the love within them.  In the midst of a terrifying situation, brave souls take risks for the sake of love.  They face their fears because the love that they experience is worth the risk.  Shouldn’t we too be a little braver when we love?  Shouldn’t we let our lives sing of love? If tomorrow never comes, we should be sure that we have loved passionately and fearlessly, and know that it is worth the risk.

Work Cited

Patchett, Ann. Bel Canto: A Novel. New York: HarperCollins, 2001. Print.

Image found at: http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2332/2521290248_718c33bcb1.jpg

Happiness

Denis Waitley once said that "Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude."